Busy columnist grants interview
(Originally published July 2024)
Thank you, Addison Independent reporter, for having me come in for a sit-down interview. I’m afraid I only have a few minutes; as you know, this is a crazy-busy season for me.
But no doubt readers are clamoring to find out whether my life is as exciting as it sounds in my column. (You can reassure them that it is: in June I really did get a kitchen scale.)
What have I been doing lately? A better question would be “What haven’t I been doing?” Just this morning, I finally moved the dirt pile that’s been sitting on a blue tarp next to the driveway for a couple of months. I hadn’t had a spare minute in weeks, but I finally managed to take care of it in between other chores.
“If I do occasionally spend the entire day lounging on a friend’s dock, what of it?”
No, you’re mistaken. The reason I got it done was not because so many people had been asking me if the dirt pile and tarp were going to be permanent landscape fixtures. It’s because today was literally the first free hour I’ve had since April.
As I’m always telling people, in the summer I’m up with the sun every morning and I don’t sit down until I fall into bed each night. On top of my normal responsibilities, I have animals to feed and plants to water and weeds to pull and produce to pick and firewood to stack and more. I don’t get a break.
What do you mean, “But isn’t it true that you only work part time, and you don’t have any kids left at home?”
So, because I have a freer schedule than most adults, I should somehow feel less pressured by the demands of summer? Are you suggesting that I am not, in fact, toiling every waking moment of these long, hot days?
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get defensive. But you have no idea how busy I am. No matter how hard I work, I can’t get caught up. “Leisure time”? Please. I don’t have that luxury.
Well, yes, you’re right: It was me you saw on the pickleball court yesterday evening. And on Sunday afternoon.
But pickleball is exercise, not fun; it’s for my health. And even if I have been putting a lot of hours in on the court, they don’t really count, because I’m not getting any better at the game. (You can leave that out of the story.)
The TAM? Yes, you may see me taking the dog onto the TAM a few times a week. Oh, it might be more scandalous to your readers to imply—entirely falsely—that if I were as overworked as I am constantly saying, I wouldn’t have a chance to get out on the trail almost every day. But the boring truth is that I am a responsible dog owner. I hate the rich smell of the forest and the feel of fresh air in my lungs. I only do it for the dog.
I see your agenda here, so let me get out in front of this rumor: Yes, we did buy very expensive Adirondack chairs for our deck this year, and yes, we do spend a lot of time sitting in them. That’s called “getting your money’s worth.” As a frugal person, I value that.
I don’t know what you’re getting at with the term “active social life.” Oh, “sources” have told you they’ve frequently seen me relaxing on Lake Dunmore with friends? Ridiculous.
I mean, I may have done some swimming. Kayaking? Yes, but only once this year, and that was to see the loons on the island and check out the bald eagle nest. Technically, that was for ornithology purposes, not pleasure.
And if I do occasionally spend the entire day lounging on a friend’s dock, what of it? Apparently, you’ve never heard of self-care.
It’s a rare treat for me, because most of the time I’m racing around trying to get outside work done while also keeping the house spotless, which—believe me—is one of my top priorities.
What do you mean, “Have you dusted or vacuumed even once in the past month?”
I absolutely would have if I’d had time. But how rude of you to even ask.
Had I known you were going to invite me here only to insinuate that—contrary to my constant complaining and dramatic brow wiping—I’m spending more of my summer having a good time than working, I wouldn’t have agreed to come.
We’re done here.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for pickleball.
